worst birthday ever.

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I was 19.

My boyfriend was going to a fire fighter graduation and invited me to tag along. On the way we saw my mom on a bridge, she had been in an accident (she was fine) that totalled the car. Then we carpooled with a crazy man and his wife… and they stayed a LONG ASS time at the lunch after the graduation so that by the time my boyfriend got me back to his house where my car was he had time to chuck a gift at me and I was heading back home.

in other words: uber romantic day date. NOT!

Once home, I expected some surprises from my family. Instead, I watched them driving off to dinner at my fave chinese restaurant while I went inside and had to fend for myself.

I didn’t just go with them because I had girlfriends coming over – we were going out to see the movie (releasing that day) called the Horse Whisperer. As horse loving country girls, we were VERY excited!!

The movie was REALLY long. REALLY boring. and I hated it with a fiery passion. The entire time watching it I was mad at this waste of my birthday.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

My parents sucked for letting me do my thing with friends all day and not involving them.

My boyfriend sucked for not taking his own car and thus getting us stuck at a boring party where I, at tender age of 19, couldn’t even be for part of it because OH YEAH a 19yo can’t be at a bar.

Hollywood sucked for making such a bad movie.

Everyone who forgot or didn’t give me gifts sucked.

now hang on and wait a minute here.

Late that night as I lay in bed SULKING and feeling sorry for myself it hit me. *I* made all my birthday plans. I could have told my boyfriend to go without me and done something else with my day. I could have told my parents I wanted a kid-like birthday celebration. I could have researched this Redford dude and seen if I would like one of his movies. I could have planned, asked for, or otherwise made my birthday infinitely better.

The moral to this story, the reason I’m sharing up here on my soapbox is this:

If you want a good birthday, if you are needing or wishing for something you can’t expect it to just happen. YOU put on your big girl panties and take charge. Because at the end of the day? The only one with the key to your happiness, is you.

And THAT is why I actually remember my worst birthday with a smile – because I grew up quite a bit and learned a lot on that day. When I hear people whining about how NOBODY does what they are wishing for… that other people are making them unhappy by not giving them “stuff”… oh man. oh no. I don’t even think so ladies. That tells me everything I need to know about a woman… and that she doesn’t know that she can make herself a happy birthday (or mom’s day… or whatever)

I’ll step down off my box now – I was just thinking of this today and wanted to share.

I didn’t dump that fireman either. Bad date or no – I knew he was a keeper.

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12 responses »

  1. Hi May, is your birthday on the 14th? Have a happy one! We are celebrating my son’s 20th birthday today. *sigh* time flies.

  2. Hi May, Hope everyone in your family with you included, makes your b-day an extra special one! Loved your story, totally my philosophy in life, i really can’t tolerate whiners, so when my little voice in my head goes whine, whine, i allow 1 min. to whine then move on. Hope you have the best cake or dessert ever!

  3. Totally awesome post. It’s true for birthdays and everything else in life- make your own happiness and don’t wait for someone else to do it. BTW, my worst birthday was when I was 21. A group of friends took me to Tahoe to go gambling and my boyfriend brought a DATE. Apparently this was his way of breaking up with me. Clearly he was NOT a keeper.

  4. ok; not whining here; but my cousin & I celebrated our 40th birthdays and BOTH of us wanted a party in which we did NOT plan, organize and/or implement. We wanted to just show up and have fun! Well, our husbands heard us and although they did (which was smart of them) ask us what we wanted, crawfish or barbecue?, what time? who to invite?, we were NOT responsible for the overall plans and both birthdays turned out incredible! Thanks guys!

  5. lol – Good for you, girl!!! And thank you for that reminder! Our happiness is really deep down our OWN responsibility!!! You said it SOOO well!

  6. You know, I try very hard to follow that philosophy. My parents always told me that if I wanted something, I had to ask. My birthday is shortly after Christmas, so at my family’s request, I always provide an extra long list of gift ideas for me at the beginning of December. (I also provide lists for ideas for Hubby and now baby for Christmas at the same time.) But since Hubby and I have been together, I expected him to give his parents gift ideas for me. It seemed weird to provide them with lists. HE NEVER DOES IT. So 2010 I said fine. I gave his mom an email and said “Here are some ideas for Dave, some for baby, and some for me.) And finally…I got stuff I could use!

    But I did still feel weird. I felt a little odd telling hubby before MOther’s Day that I’d really like a gift card to a big box craft store. I said what I wanted more than anything, was the ok to go shopping. (Still waiting for a job offer…or I’d just go shopping on my own anyways.)

    I like the “put on the big girl panties” phrase. One of my friends told me I needed to do that, when I was freaking out about the prospect of having to drive into downtown Cleveland daily for my possible new job. She told me sometimes you have to put on the Big Girl Panties and just do it.

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